Modesty Is More Than a Neckline

Modesty--it's more than the hemline being low enough and the neckline being high enough. It's more than steering away from provocative clothing aisle at the mall. It's more than clothes. Although clothing might be there first thing which comes to mind when you hear the word “modesty”-- it really means so much more.

We live a culture where there is Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. We get to say what we are thinking to everyone--in real time. There is very little filter when it comes to our feelings, thoughts, opinions, or complaints. We like to post them, snap a pic, and share with the world. We are seeing a younger generation become more vocal and visual. However, we are also seeing less and less modesty in behavior. As the fashion trends become more provocative so does the conduct. It's important to discuss with your teens what your family's standard for modesty are in dress AND behavior.

Here are three conversation starters you can do at home to encourage modesty in your teen:

1. Who? Ask your teen who do they look up to? Who are their role models? Their answers will help you determine what are their standards as a teenager. This will help get the conversation moving. Remember to listen more than talk. Try to understand why they might be drawn to certain people or personality types.
   
2. What? Ask your teen what do they think modesty is when it comes to behavior. Tell them to give you an example about someone who is a modest person and someone who isn't. Understanding what they interpret as modest will help you communicate with them about modesty and help you to discuss your family's values on behavior. 
   
3. Why? Ask your teen why modesty is important. Whether or not they act modestly doesn't mean they do not understand why it is valuable and honorable characteristic. If they do not act modestly – ask why? And if they are modest – ask why? It's important to discuss it even if they they are modeling modesty. 
   

As parents, it is so important to keep the conversation about modesty alive in your home. If you have never had the conversation about behavior this is the perfect time to start. This conversation is for boys and girls. Modesty in young men is important and should be encouraged. Talk about it today! Don't let society shape their standards for behavior. Let it start with YOU and your family's values!

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Check out our whole series on Modesty
Modesty Diaries: What are men really thinking?
Modesty Diaries: Starting a conversation