Modesty Diaries

As a mom of two girls I think about modesty all the time. All. The. Time. In a Kim Kardashian obsessed world I feel I am constantly looking for high enough necklines and low enough hemlines even in the young girls section of the department store. Even Taylor Swift, the used-to-be modesty poster child, has joined in the latest crop top phase. I even saw a post yesterday on Facebook about how a young girl was forced to change her CROP TOP and was fighting how it was modest and was trying to rally social media support.

I'm sorry, but a crop top is NOT MODEST to my standards. I have a serious issue with the standards of modesty in our culture and I feel I am constantly fighting the trends in an effort to teach my girls how to respect their body. My girls are young-- really young, but I feel it is never too early to talk about standards of beauty and modesty. Here are three things I do to help get the conversation started:

1. Talk. Talk A LOT. My oldest is a fashionista. She loves to watch Red Carpet events on TV. She loves to look at pretty dresses, hair, nails etc. She is as “girly” as it gets. Now that she is old enough to talk and have a conversation with her own opinions I simply ask her to tell me what she thinks about movie star outfits, outfits on mannequins in the mall, or models on magazines. Start with what modesty means-- your child may not know, and then ask their opinions. You might be surprised what they perceive is modest.
2. Make it a culture. We have a culture of modesty in our house. We have a tag line we use A LOT which is “MODEST IS HOTTEST.” We love it. We use it. We say it constantly in our house. My daughter might come out in shorts she has outgrown and I'll say, “Bella, what do you think?” and she will look and say, “I'll change. Modest is hottest.” We giggle and it's done. It's not a fight. It's not embarrassing. It's the culture of our home. 
3. Monkey see. Monkey do. Kids will do what you model for them. Not what you want them to do, but what you ACTUALLY DO. If you dress revealing. So will they. They will gravitate to what they see. If you want a modest girl. You have to be a modest mom. Model the behavior you want to see them do and it will be a lot easier to shape their values around modesty. 

Raising girls is tough. Raising girls who grow up to be modest in an over sexualized culture is even more tough. It takes effort, time, consideration, and conversations. Take the time to make this a conversation and a priority in your home from the time your daughter starts talking. It's never too early and it's never too late to start implementing your family's values into your child's wardrobe.

PATH Blogger: Julie Signorelli lives in Chesterton with her husband and two girls, Bella (8) and Everly (1). 

 

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