Red Alert: Mistakes Parents Are Making About Alcohol

Ongoing conversations with your teenager are crucial to their decision making about alcohol. These conversations should not be a one and done speech, but rather a regular discussion in your home. Older adolescents are the most susceptible to drinking, so it is never too early to begin this conversation. You can then change the topics and transparency as your child gets older.

Here are three mistakes parents make and how to avoid making them:

1. The rules change as the child gets older. The rules about drinking for a middle school-er might be “stay away from alcohol” and “alcohol is bad.” However, as the child gets older, these lines may begin to blur. The rules can especially modify if the child grows up in a culture where drinking is a part of family traditions, everyday meals, or cultural celebrations. As the parent gets more comfortable, instead of “stay away from alcohol” a parent may say, “just one sip.” The rules begin to transform for the parent and the child. Whatever the rules—they need to remain consistent until the child reaches legal drinking age and can make their own decisions. The goal is by the time they reach 21 have made wise decisions due to parental influence being consistent.
   
2. The consequences become less severe. The first time a parent finds out their child has been drinking. They may be grounded for a month, no cell phone, no car, and constant supervision as a consequence. The second time they might get grounded from activities for a week. The third time they may lose their phone for a day. As the parent disciplines the same issue over and over a common mistake is the punishments get less severe instead of more severe. The parent needs to hold their ground and keep their conversations about alcohol consistent so their punishments are effective. If the consequences are consistent then the parent is enforcing the behavior is not acceptable. If the punishments wain in severity it sends the message drinking is tolerated and there are no consequences for breaking the rules. 
3. Parents talk less about the dangers and consequences of alcohol use. Parents are busy. They are working. They are cleaning. They have errands. However, a parent cannot be too busy to have these conversations REGULARLY. Regular does not mean once a year. It means a topic discussed during dinner weekly and/or when the topic is brought up in current events. Bottom line: parents need communication lines open and honest. If you are talking less about alcohol as your child gets older-- you are making a mistake that needs to be fixed immediately. Research shows parents who regularly communicate with their children about the dangers of alcohol use are less likely to have problems with alcohol.

Be aware of these common mistakes parents are making. If you have made these mistakes it is not too late to fix the communication. Start the conversation TODAY! It could save their life.

If you are looking for additional resources be sure to check out your local substance abuse council. You can find out more at Porter County Substance Abuse Council Webpage.